Heart Rest: Healing a Broken Heart

Heartbreak is an inevitable part of the human experience. Whether it's the end of a romantic relationship, the loss of a loved one, or the disappointment of not achieving a deeply cherished goal, the pain can be overwhelming.

Heartbreak can stem from rejection, failure, loss, and trauma. In order to heal it's crucial to acknowledge your pain and take steps to address it. Just as our bodies need rest to heal from physical wounds, our hearts need rest to recover from emotional pain. Here are some ways to find heart rest and begin the healing process.

The first step in healing is to acknowledge your pain. It's important to allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with heartbreak—sadness, anger, confusion. Suppressing these feelings can prolong the healing process. As the poet Rumi said, "The wound is the place where the light enters you." Embrace your emotions and understand that they are a natural response to loss.

Create a safe space for yourself. This could be a physical space, like a cozy corner in your home where you can retreat, or a mental space, where you allow yourself to be vulnerable and honest about your feelings. Surround yourself with comforting items, such as soft blankets, soothing music, and calming scents. This sanctuary can provide a sense of security and peace during difficult times.

Be kind to yourself. Heartbreak can often lead to self-blame and harsh self-criticism. Instead, practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would give a friend in a similar situation. Remember, healing takes time; take things day by day, sometimes even moment by moment.

Seek Support: You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can offer support and understanding. Sharing your feelings with others can provide relief and help you gain perspective. As Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability, says, "Connection is why we're here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives."

Engage in activities that bring you joy, slow down, and relax. This could be anything from reading a book, taking long walks in nature, practicing yoga, or indulging in a creative hobby. These activities can help distract your mind from the pain and provide a sense of normalcy and pleasure.

Reflect and learn; heartbreak can be a powerful teacher. Take time to reflect on what you've learned from the experience. What did it teach you about yourself, your needs, and your boundaries? Use this knowledge to grow and make better choices in the future. Viktor Frankl a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, said, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

Focus on the present moment, it's easy to get caught up in regrets about the past, or worries about the future. However, true healing happens in the present. Practice mindfulness and gratitude for the small joys in your daily life. As Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk, said, "The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it."

Guy Winch wrote the book "Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts," it provides practical advice on managing emotional pain and distress. He states we should manage emotional injuries just as we would manage physical wounds. We should also address emotional wounds to prevent them from worsening.

Heart rest is about giving yourself the time and space to heal from emotional pain. By acknowledging your feelings, creating a safe space, practicing self-compassion, seeking support, engaging in restorative activities, reflecting on your experience, and embracing the present moment, you can begin to mend your broken heart and find peace. Remember, healing is a journey, and it's okay to stop along the way to rest.